Walk in Love: Accompaniment

What are your experiences of being supported that have led you to walk in love with others?

I came to the US from Sri Lanka to study engineering. I didn’t have any family or friends here, so it was a very lonely time for me. But I made friends with some Palestinian students, and they invited me to be their roommate. They treated me like family.

And they were very good cooks: they made delicious Middle Eastern food,and I did the dishes.That’s one of many ways in which loving people have walked with me.

As an aerospace engineer in Silicon Valley, I had the opportunity to share that same kind of accompaniment. I worked on engineering standards with international colleagues, and we had to find ways to compromise. We spoke different languages and didn’t always agree on issues, but we achieved compromise on technical issues. So, I learned to listen for the purposes of understanding. That’s what life is all about: living together and learning to understand each other. Of course, this also means recognizing my own limitations, and those of others.

Sometimes it’s hard to walk with vulnerable people. Part of my diaconal ministry happens in jail. At first, I didn’t want to be there. I was frightened by the heavy doors closing behind me as I visited. But there was so much need! Some inmates are entirely abandoned by their family, so part of my walk with them is to love without judgment. It is a mutual walking in love – we listen to each other, and they learn from me and I from them.

As a Christian, I am motivated by the Great Commandment and the Baptismal Covenant, which tells me to respect the dignity of every human being. Everyone needs some help at some point in their lives, just as I did as a student and an immigrant. God walks in love with me in my struggles just as God does with the marginalized people with whom I minister.

— The Rev. Bertram Nagarajah serves as Deacon at Trinity Cathedral, San Jose, California and ministers widely to the Silicon Valley community.